continuously self-assessed narcissism

the obsessions of one melissa maples

http://melissamaples.com
http://twitter.com/melissamaples
Nov 06
I call it a breakfast flower— half the petals have honey, the other half red fruit preserves. Olives in the middle. And of course, a cup of TurboCoffeeWOOWOOWOO on the side. To be honest, though, I never got the hang of the European/Middle Eastern habit of having bread as the main part of the breakfast. I can eat ten loaves of bread and still feel hungry. But a couple of eggs and I’m good until dinner, really. No eggs in the house this morning, though, so breakfast flower it is.

I call it a breakfast flower— half the petals have honey, the other half red fruit preserves. Olives in the middle. And of course, a cup of TurboCoffeeWOOWOOWOO on the side.

To be honest, though, I never got the hang of the European/Middle Eastern habit of having bread as the main part of the breakfast. I can eat ten loaves of bread and still feel hungry. But a couple of eggs and I’m good until dinner, really. No eggs in the house this morning, though, so breakfast flower it is.

Sep 09
“ If we do not look at marriage as the principal source of happiness, fewer marriages world end in tears.
— Antony Storr
Sep 08
No shirt, no shoes— no problem.[Original uncompressed photo sans artifacts here.]
No shirt, no shoes— no problem.

[Original uncompressed photo sans artifacts here.]
“ Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
— Oscar Wilde
One for the fetishists.
One for the fetishists.
Sep 07
“ Women who marry men they don’t love or aren’t attracted to, men who are older, unattractive or unlovable, such women cannot validly look down on prostitutes. That is to say, on honest prostitutes.
— Gypsy Rose Lee
These amazingly sexy powder blue Avec Des Bas knickers are available at N. de Samim. Girls, for £275 you can buy me a pair and be my special friend.
These amazingly sexy powder blue Avec Des Bas knickers are available at N. de Samim. Girls, for £275 you can buy me a pair and be my special friend.

Lily's first week in Japan

  • Melissa: so how much is Tokyo like what we thought it was?
  • Melissa: is it like Lost In Translation?
  • Lily: yeah, totally
  • Lily: but hotter
  • Lily: and way more humid
  • Lily: once you're inside a building you look outside and see clouds and sometimes rain
  • Lily: and you think man, it's gonna be freezing out
  • Lily: but when you walk outside it is like walking into a sauna
  • Lily: every single time
  • Melissa: yeah, it's like that here too
  • Melissa: except without the clouds and rain
There is not a blonde on this planet who wouldn’t be altogether sexier and more alluring with dark hair. Sad thing is, most of them actually lightened their hair on purpose, which just proves that those with blonde hair are in fact dumb, and apparently it doesn’t even have to be naturally blonde hair for that law to apply. Girls, stop bleaching your frigging hair. It doesn’t do you any favours. You look like a big bananahead, congratulations.

There is not a blonde on this planet who wouldn’t be altogether sexier and more alluring with dark hair. Sad thing is, most of them actually lightened their hair on purpose, which just proves that those with blonde hair are in fact dumb, and apparently it doesn’t even have to be naturally blonde hair for that law to apply.

Girls, stop bleaching your frigging hair. It doesn’t do you any favours. You look like a big bananahead, congratulations.

A few of Dita von Teese’s tools of the trade.
A few of Dita von Teese’s tools of the trade.
“ There’s a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God.
— Sarah Miles
Dita gets herself goddessed-out for InStyle UK.
Sep 06
The autumn ’40s look… strong yet feminine.
The autumn ’40s look… strong yet feminine.
Jul 06
This looks ‘shopped - I can tell by some of the pixels and the fact that I’ve seen quite a few shops in my time.
This looks ‘shopped - I can tell by some of the pixels and the fact that I’ve seen quite a few shops in my time.
May 24
Another five-star dinner, Topkapı Palace hotel.
Another five-star dinner, Topkapı Palace hotel.